Hi there.

This is my first post on this forum–in fact this is the only thread I’ve had time to read so far. However, I was so pleasantly surprised by the quality of the dialogue that I felt compelled to register and chime in.

Ariel, it was very interesting to read the story of your path to today with Hywel and RE. That sort of personal sharing creates for me the same sort of appeal as the friendliness in the local pub or coffee shop. It’s kind of you to write openly about your own experience here and it serves the business well. 🙂

Martes, you do have a nice touch with the language. I don’t believe for a second that words are escaping you. If they are, you are clearly giving chase and enjoying it! And that brings me to some of my thoughts on your conversation (for whatever they’re worth)…

I think for me personally, there is power in the “thrill of the chase” that makes seeking a partner so exciting for people. Many relationships are crushed by people unable to give up that excitement for the sake of the slower, calmer enjoyment of a long-term commitment. For me, I feel like BD (I haven’t really gotten into the SM myself) provides a sense of that chase and tension with someone familiar, where with a stranger those things are a matter of course. Because there IS a great deal of trust involved at the same time for both partners, it at the same time can help build the solidity of the commitment between them. Talk about a win-win.

I’m with Martes in that I don’t understand the appeal of pain or being dominated. However, there are plenty of other fetishes out there I find far more difficult to fathom. Heck, I don’t even understand how someone can enjoy country-western music or stuffing themselves on “all you can eat” sushi at a restaurant with dubious sanitation standards. The fact is, I have friends who do. We are all destined to see the world through our own lens, right? So while I can’t grasp WHY some women would enjoy being cuffed or blindfolded or pinched, I am just plain grateful those women are out there…and in some cases doing it beautifully for us to see!

Ariel, you struck a chord with the comment that dominants often feel guilty for their desires. The first time I hinted at tying my wife, her shocked response was, “oh no are you into bondage or something?” My mouth said, “oh no, not at all” while my mind was saying, “well YEAH!” 😆 Over time, as little hints of dominance have been shared, they been met with equal measures of happy submissiveness. Which has led me to wonder about the whole “why?” question as well. Whoops…didn’t I just dismiss that as pointless a paragraph ago?

So who knows? The best I can come up with is that it’s an evolutionary pass-down from pre-civilized ancestry. Maybe the males who really enjoyed capturing women were more likely to have children, while the women who enjoyed being captured were most likely to bear those children. Could it be as simple as that? 😀

Anyway, I feel like my 2 cents are pretty low-brow in present company. Thank you both for an intriguing and entertaining back n forth. I’m now looking forward to seeing what else has gone on in this forum. Cheers!