Oh my goodness, I need to be a better writer than I am to tell you all the things I’m thinking and feeling today. I’m writing this in the brief, 2 day gap between getting married to Hywel (the BDM is the HDM now) and holding our reception, which is a tea party for our family and closest friends.
Our wedding day was absolutely perfect for me (I don’t want to speak for Hywel, who I’m sure will blog about it himself, but he certainly seemed very happy too). We just had our two witnesses there, since we really wanted the smallest wedding possible. I’ve done a fair number of bridal shoots in my career as a model (and plenty of bridle ones, of course) and I didn’t want our wedding day to feel like a performance, or like a modelling job. Hywel was in agreement, so we just had my lovely sister, and our wonderful friend Steve, who shoots for Restrained Elegance as well.
The wedding itself was extraordinarily lovely to me, but possibly a bit boring to read about so I’ll be brief. I was barefoot at Hywel’s request (brilliant, I thought I’d be horrifically embarrassed but actually it felt perfectly natural), I wore a dress I’d made myself, and the vows were beautiful. I cried a bit, but not in a horrific embarrassing manner, as far as I know. Here’s a picture Steve took right after we signed the register.
And once it was over, we headed to a gorgeous hotel that we eat at a lot but have never stayed in. We’d booked a suite with a four poster bed and some fabulous, usefully shaped furniture in it. And that’s all I have to say about that 😉
So now, I’m Mrs Phillips, and I’m stupidly, impossibly happy about it. And it’s made me think back about how we first met, so I’m going to give you a brief history in pictures;-
Here’s a shot from our first set, at my first Restrained Elegance shoot. I’d had to pester a bit in order to shoot for RE at all, and I was determined that Hywel would like me. At the time, I’d only done a couple of bondage shoots, and had been modelling for less than a year; hence the schoolgirl hair and the minimal approach to makeup. I was so sorry when the shoot was over (it had passed with me in a lather of excitement, trying not to show that the whole thing was hopelessly erotic for me) and so glad when Hywel re-booked me almost immediately…
After a year or so of working together, in which we got to know each other well enough for me to confess that I really was into BDSM (I don’t think it was a great surprise to Hywel) Hywel took me, Hannah, Sabrina and Temptress Kate to France for a week’s shoot. The pleasure of modelling for Hywel every day for an extended period was absolute heaven for me; I remember rushing my hair and makeup dreadfully, in order to be the next model in line whenever Hywel was ready for one. Consequently, he ended up with more sets of me than anyone else, which was a bad business move for me, since in theory it meant that he wouldn’t have to re-book me for ages. But I couldn’t help it, just as I couldn’t help fantasising about him coming to my bedroom to tie me up and spank me at night. He didn’t, he behaved like a consummate professional. But by now, he’d become my absolute favourite person to work with.
Later that year, Hywel booked me to work with Chanta Rose as the rigger.
Which was interesting in many ways. Chanta is very experienced, both as a professional and as a lifestyle player. And she’s totally comfortable with talking frankly about BDSM. Which meant that the shoot with her made me feel more relaxed talking about my fantasies in front of other people. I think this is what led to Hywel and me deciding to do a series called ‘Restrained Elegance Nights’ in which we explored the harder side of BDSM, which I’d not actually experienced, but was desperate to try. We shot our ‘Long Term Bondage’ project as a result, followed by ‘Bondage Driving Test’ by which point I was struggling to keep our relationship fully professional – basically I’d begun to tell Hywel all my fantasies, and we’d play them out in front of the cameras as a way to justify what we were doing since we hadn’t negotiated an actual relationship yet. As a result, parts of those videos make me pretty embarrassed – they’re still available to watch on Restrained Elegance but I’m uncomfortable watching something that exposes my feelings so clearly.
And then Hywel invited me to be the model for his first bondage photography tutorial. I flew back from New York and took a taxi straight to his studio (my flight had been delayed) but once I got there, the lack of sleep made no difference whatsoever to my excitement. Here’s a shot from a set that Merlin (who we met that day for the first time, and who’s since become a very valued member of the RE crew) directed;-
And which Steve, who we also met for the first time that day shot. I’m afraid I behaved in a rather sluttish manner that day; being tied up and photographed by 4 people while Hywel told me what to do, stepped in to gag me, and generally took control of the whole thing, was very sexy for me indeed!
And finally, after at least 3 years of shooting together (and probably more, my maths is hideous) we made the decision to play together as well as work together. This picture’s from the first time we shot together after we’d made that decision.
Hmmm, I don’t think my facial expression was put on for the camera. I’m rather ashamed to say that our new arrangement made for some rather excessively sexual photo sets…
And after playing together for a few months, neither of us were happy with the parameters we’d set for ourselves, and we became a proper, real-life couple.
And photosets of me from around that time seem to me to have a pervasive sense of happiness!
We moved out of the studio, and into a house we bought together…
And things got better and better. Of course, our lives aren’t magically charmed, and we’re as effected by ill health, work stress, and all the real life problems as any other couple. But I’m so happy with Hywel, and being married to him feels so perfectly right.
And of course, being married won’t stop me also being Hywel’s slavegirl. That’s too important to lose – we’re in the middle of working out what our new rules will be and we’ll be figuring it all out properly on honeymoon. I’m very excited about that – the rule Hywel’s already put in place for the new married me is perfect 🙂
Here’s a picture to finish with, of the dress I made as a practice wedding dress earlier this year, just in time for our shoot in Scotland. We’ll be shooting a set for Restrained Elegance in my real wedding dress as soon as we’re properly back at work.
So for now, thank you to our friends and supporters, who joined RE and made it possible for us to meet in the first place. I’m sorry this wasn’t a very edgy post, I’m just full of happiness and wanted to talk about it. Thank you for reading!