BDSM Questionnaire

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Ariel Anderssen 8 years, 3 months ago.

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  • #25849

    Ariel Anderssen
    Moderator

    Hello everyone! Ok, so here’s some exciting news (for me, anyway). I have an older sister, with whom I’m very close. She’s not into BDSM, but she’s always been incredibly supportive of my identity and my work. She’s a published author, who writes teenage fiction. Her previous books have been sci-fi (Yep, she gets on very well with Hywel, LOL) but now she’s writing a romance story for young adults, about a girl who discovers an interest in BDSM. For those who are interested, her name is Imogen Howson, and she’s published in the US, UK, and bits of Europe.

    Obviously this is a controversial theme, but Young Adult fiction is increasingly dealing with issues of sexual identity, and she has a publisher interested. She’s writing it in part because of my experiences of growing up and feeling like a dangerous outsider – she wants to write a book that addresses those feelings, and helps to stop teenagers feeling guilty about their sexuality

    So of course, I’m very excited and supportive about her writing it, and I promised to help. She’s written a questionnaire which comes in two parts for ease of posting) and has asked if any RE members would kindly respond? It’s anonymous, so you wouldn’t get ‘outed’ or anything, obviously. And her intention is, of course, to write a sympathetic portrayal of a young couple who discover this shared interest. She’s anxious not to get it ‘wrong’, especially from the male dominant perspective – because she knows that she’s writing outside of her own knowledge base.

    So here are the questionnaires (I think the questions are fun to answer, I’m definitely going to do it) and she’d be massively grateful to anyone who has the time to help out. She doesn’t want to end up having written the next 50 Shades, full of weird things that people who really do BDSM would never consider acceptable.

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/VZSBFH5

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/7KSPR5P

    Thank you everyone!

    Ariel xx

    #26393

    anonanonanon7
    Participant

    Is this survey still going? I see the pages are still up.

    #26399

    Midian258
    Participant

    I think this is a great idea. I hope it’s still in production. Let us know if she wants more info.

    #26403

    Midian258
    Participant

    Here’s something else from another old post of mine that might be useful to the author. It regards my own seminal experience tying up a girlfriend:

    “On the occasions when a lady friend of mine allows me to tie her up, the trust and acceptance this shows are as arousing as the restraint itself. I still vividly remember the first time my first girlfriend crossed her wrists behind her back and offered them to me. She even raised her wrists away from her back and asked if it would make it easier to tie her up. That simple raising of her crossed wrists to make it easier for me to restrain her is one of my most cherished memories, both for it’s emotional meaning and it’s erotic impact.

    Another one of my most cherished memories happened the same night. After I had thoroughly tied her up (hands behind her back, legs tied above the knees, feet tied together side by side) so that in her own words she, “couldn’t move”, and “felt like a Mummy”, I proceeded to roll up a scarf and present it to her mouth. I wasn’t sure if she would go along with being gagged or not. My lady friend said nothing but leaned her head forward and opened her mouth to accept the scarf. That little leaning forward and the acceptance of not just the gag, but me, that was implied touched my heart profoundly, as well as blowing my mind sexually. The whole experience was a peak moment in my life, but those two moments stand out in particular.

    Even though I was more than thorough when I tied up this girl, I treated her like a special gift or sacred object that was being carefully wrapped. She even said once that she would have liked me to be a little rougher with her. But I really don’t do rough. When one is confining an embodiment of divine femininity, one isn’t rough. And I’m a nice guy.”

    #26407

    Midian258
    Participant

    The above didn’t really seem to fit into the questionnaire. The most important thing for any couple is to be in love. If the things you do with each other express the love you feel and you are communicating well, things have a good chance of being OK. This also assumes that neither individual is so riddled with personal problems that they can’t function in a relationship. Like a certain Mr. Grey.

    #26409

    Midian258
    Participant

    Maybe a better way to put it is to say, “let the rope be an extension of your feelings toward your captive.” And of course pay attention and ask for feedback. Too tight? Too Loose? Etc…

    #26529

    Merlin1
    Participant

    Done.
    Although tbh Ariel with your role of “Queen of the searching personal questions” you could have probably done this for me.. 😉
    Richard.

    #26558

    Ariel Anderssen
    Moderator

    Thank you Midian, thank you Merlin. She’s still writing it at present, so further answers are still all welcome. God, writing a book is a slow process – I’ve started to realise that asking her ‘how much of the book have you done’ makes her look a bit hunted and panicky…

    But the first chapter is ACE 🙂 So I’m very excited. Hahahahah, thanks for that Rich, I’m saving up some new personal questions to ask you. And Sophia Smith’s coming to stay tonight, so I’ll get a go at her too, LOL

    #26594

    Midian258
    Participant

    Anyone can write. But writing something worth reading is quite difficult. I salute your sister and wish her luck.

    #26613

    Ariel Anderssen
    Moderator

    Thank you Midian!

    #26614

    Ariel Anderssen
    Moderator

    Thank you Midian!

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