Spanking and Bondage Parties

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This topic contains 7 replies, has 0 voices, and was last updated by  scotto2589 11 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #10077

    Ariel Anderssen
    Moderator

    Hello everyone!

    I just returned from a spanking convention in Texas (the Texas All State Spanking Party, for interested parties…) and it was fabulous, fabulous fun, despite the fact that I don’t play with people other than Hywel (we make an exception for videos and performance pieces because it doesn’t feel intimate to be spanked by someone/spank someone when there’s a film crew around). I spent my time making spanking movies, appearing in some of the demos and lectures, and talking to people while stuffing giant Texan food into my face.

    And it alerted me to the fact that all over the world, people who like spanking seem to congregate from time to time in order to enjoy spanking together. I saw lots of people who weren’t in relationships with each other enjoying spanking sessions, and lots of people swapping partners for a while so that they could enjoy styles of spanking play their own partners weren’t so into.

    I wondered if there are bondage parties run along similar lines? As far as I know there don’t seem to be; there are conventions where you can go and see well-established riggers tying people up, and there are workshops where people can go to learn; but I’ve not actually heard of bondage parties per se.

    So I wondered a couple of things;-

    Does anyone here actually go to any bondage party type affairs? And if so, are they fun?

    Would anyone here go to them if they did exist in a form that you’d enjoy. If so, what form would that take?

    Do let me know, I’m really interested in things the bondage community might be able to steal from the spanking community 🙂

    Ariel x

    #16644

    Thanks for the interesting thoughts. Glad you enjoyed the party: wife and I have already seen a preview of something we think you did there. We hope these thoughts are helpful but have no idea how representative they are.

    We have not been to any bondage party or know of such a thing. Neither have we (yet) been to a convention or workshop so we may not be clear exactly what the difference is. We guess what you have in mind is a little like both but with a lot more opportunity for participation by those attending. We understand there are local groups in some places in UK and there may be one relatively close to us but we have not yet had the inclination to contact them. We would probably be more likely to go to something a little more distant where we may feel more safely anonymous.

    So, would we go? Time, place and cost would be obvious factors. At risk of being even more obvious, location is a significant limit for people who normally work to the worldwide audience of the web. We are in the UK and would be unlikely to go to anything outside the UK unless it happened to fit in with a trip we were already contemplating. However, having an event in the UK significantly limits your potential market. That may not put you off: we note TASSP started in one person’s home (OK, no doubt Texas sized!).

    That obvious point aside, we would be open to the idea in principle. What would we like? Some thoughts (not in any particular order and with apologies if some are very obvious to more experienced people).

      • We know trust and respect is axiomatic in this world but as nervous novices we would hope for special emphasis for it, e.g. no photographs without clear consent.
      • We would like to see, use and let others use on (one of) us different equipment we have not seen before. Perhaps hold the party at a dungeon where everyone can play/experiment .
      • We would like to see what others do with basic equipment and limited rigging skills or experience. This site is a great place to watch top quality kit and work but at a party we would also be interested to see what others do with more limited budgets or using “beginner” stuff.
      • We would like lessons in various ways to tie up with rope etc (Yes, that sounds like workshops within the party).
      • Back to the obvious: we would need to know if the party welcomed all relationships (M/f; F/f; F/m etc) or was limited. RE is always a female sub and mostly a male dom (almost always unseen). We understand the Texas party wasn’t so limited.

    Forgive us sounding another note of caution. While we have not been to any bondage or spanking events, we have some experience in other areas of “fan” meetings including some for people who have previously known one another through internet forums or similar. These events are great fun but always a lot of work. There are fewer people who help than you expect and times during the build up when you feel, “why the **** did I agree to do this?”. Financially, nobody would want to make a loss but it would be wise not to expect much more .

    Sorry to get so long-winded. Hope this helps.

    Andrew

    #16645

    scotto2589
    Member

    What exactly do you mean by “bondage party”? My wife and I have certainly been to many local BDSM “play parties”; in fact, that’s how we met 13 years ago. The activities are quite varied. Occasionally someone will do an elaborate Japanese-style rope bondage scene for its own sake, but usually the bondage is incidental to more S&M-type activities like flogging and paddling. It’s often just a couple of buckled leather cuffs and carabiners and far from strict (i.e., inescapable). This can be a little frustrating for someone like me who’s mostly into the “B” end of BDSM.

    I’ve encountered and played with several spanking enthusiasts but here they seem to have their own subculture. Some even hotly maintain they’re not kinky BDSMers — as though spanking were not obviously one of the very many variations within BDSM, or as though everyone else were into everything that does qualify as BDSM. That just isn’t true; most kinky people I know definitely tend to specialize.

    #16646

    I was turned off BDSM group activities by a trip to Torture Garden in London, way back in the mists of time when Ariel and I went to one (we weren’t together then- we were researching our first movie project!) It was a scattergun collection of people in an obnoxiously loud nightclub with a public play room you could hardly have swung a cat in if you’d wanted to. I know that’s not how all events are.

    I did quite enjoy BondCon when I went to one in New York a decade or so ago… but clearly not enough to have gone to anything similar since, and the memory of a transatlantic flight home with food poisoning kinda soured me on the experience a bit.

    My problem with these events is that I hate unstructured aimless milling around time with strangers (a.k.a. “parties”, if you are less introverted than me). An event with lots of interesting panels and workshops and tutorials and events would interest me, but anything with hours of “social time” in the program is not going to be my thing. It was the same when I used to go to the odd Science Fiction convention- anything with gaping holes in the program for “room parties” was a red light for me.

    Add to that the fact that I don’t particularly want to play in public, or watch other people play, and I’m afraid there’s not a great deal of appeal.

    So for me anything calling itself a party is probably not my scene. But an organized series of workshops or tutorials would be fun.

    Cheers, Hywel.

    #16647

    what about using the bondage party idea for a photo shoot/video.

    #16648

    scotto2589
    Member

    Hywell, I think I can understand where you’re coming from. I don’t particularly care for loud, anonymous parties either. And it does take a certain mindset to play in public, and not everybody likes to do that. But we found that the local events are attended by a pretty well defined local group, and I quickly came to know most of the people in it and become close friends with a couple. The fact that the same people go to the informal munches (vanilla group dinners at local restaurants) helped a lot; in fact, I always strongly suggest that newbies attend several munches first so they can get to know some of the people before they go to their first party.

    We mostly attend private parties at the homes of people we know fairly well, and most of the people who attend are already familiar faces to us.

    There are more semi-public events that include workshops, etc, but we haven’t gone to many of those lately.

    #16649

    cruzdecoteau74
    Participant

    I am not particularly fond of playing in public myself but it is wonderful to be in a room of like minded people, where you can talk totally freely. I am pretty reserved myself but enjoy the social element of few events I have been to.

    There is an event near me but that is a work shop and they seem to want you to take part rather than just mingle and I wouldn’t want to be at an event that forced participation.

    I often thought about getting down to organising something myself but the form it should take escaped me. It is such a wide question – some like public play some don’t, some like work shops some don’t, do you have stalls? and so on. Its tricky
    I have heard BoundCon in Germany is very good but haven’t been yet.

    So basically I would like something of that nature to go to but cant put my finger on what form it should take.

    #16650

    scotto2589
    Member

    I have never been at a BDSM event that “forced” participation. In fact, voluntary consent is the most fundamental rule there is. I’ve never known anyone to be pressured to participate, and anyone who would do so would be asked to leave.

    At most of the events I attend, more people are generally socializing than playing. This may be because we’re a little older and tend to know each other.

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