And I really thought that maybe I could be. Having worked as a spanking model and often written my own scripts and sometimes kind of directed them, I thought maybe it was time to have my own website and to be an ACTUAL PRODUCER. My boyfriend/Dom/Master (haven’t actually worked this out yet) is a proper successful bondage producer, so I’ve been watching him very beadily over the last few months and decided it didn’t look too hard to do.

So having enlisted his help, I planned a two day shoot as a sort of experiment to see if I’d be any good at telling people what to do.

No, I am jolly well not.

Niki Flynn, like the Good Fairy of Spanking, offered to model so I could practice on her, and since I love acting all bratty and horrible when we’re together, I though that’d be just super. I chose a super-lovely Top with years of experience, and a good photographer friend of mine offered the use of his beautiful spacious apartment. BDM (the boyfriend/Dom/Master) couldn’t have been more helpful, doing the whole director of photography bit AND wading in front of the camera to be the Top on the second day. Even the location owner kindly offered to do some spanking for us (OUCH! Niki and I both regretted asking for his help – he was VERY enthusiastic, with a terrifyingly good technique for a beginner!)

But I’m afraid I kind of hated it. I couldn’t concentrate on getting into character, which meant all the spanking hurt a LOT more than normal because I wasn’t in the right kind of headspace. And I HATED, HATED, HATED telling the Tops what to do. And being in charge of how much Niki got punished REALLY freaked me out. I’ve seen her getting spanked and caned both on film (mmmm, am a bit of a Niki-stalker) and in real life, but as soon as it was my responsibility to make sure everything was ok, I lost my nerve and kept wanting to cut.

Basically I suppose I felt guilty, guilty, guilty for making people do what I wanted them to. And I’ve discovered how much I really love being employed by someone else – it makes me feel all safe and comforted, and, well, sub.

So I shall do something with the stuff we shot (some of it is absolutely SUPER, I’m particularly excited about the spanking music video we made) and go back to being a humble model.

I wonder if there are subs who really enjoy being the boss in their non-sexual life? I obviously can’t cope at all, but surely some people can……

Oooh, how very exciting. I’m sorry to anyone who found the blog and was disappointed that I hadn’t actually written anything; I don’t really understand blogs yet, and didn’t know anyone could find it 🙂

Anyway, this is my first proper post EVER and I feel shy. So I’m going to explain about myself. I’m Ariel Anderssen and Amelia-Jane Rutherford. This was a bad idea, it turns out, but I wanted to have two names for two different and important bits of me.

Ariel Anderssen is submissive, and works as a bondage model. When I’m Ariel I’m pretty willing to please, really; so I’m nice and obedient and very suitable for tough suspensions, big gags etc 🙂 You can see lots of my work on www.restrainedelegance.com where I have my own little series within the site called Restrained Elegance Nights where I explore the darker side of my fantasies.

Amelia-Jane is not in the least submissive and needs to be punished quite often. So that’s who I am when I’m doing spanking work. And sometimes in normal life when the mood takes me 🙂 You can see me on www.firmhandspanking.com where I’ve directed some of my own work, and when I understand my blog better then I’ll jolly well post a list of where you can see me…

I’m not sure how I’m going to use my blog, I can’t imagine being organised enough to post every day, but I’m going to try to work out how to put up pictures, cos I’d like to be able to do that…

Anyway, hello, thanks for finding my blog, and do come back and say hello when I’ve posted more stuff and maybe even made it look a bit professional.

Ariel (today – I’ve got a virus, and am certainly not up to making a great big fuss about anything. But being in a nice warm cage and fed Lemsip would be just fine)

Does it even work?