Hello to all you kind people who read my blog. While I was walking around Tesco today I was wondering about how BDSM is seen outside of our lovely kinky internet world. The reason I was thinking this is because a very polite man had tried to ask me out while I was in the (extraordinarily cheap) ladies’ shoes aisle. I told him I had a boyfriend and off he went (still politely).

I wondered what would have happened if I’d announced that I had a MASTER instead of a boyfriend. First of all I imagined it would sound rather impressive; then with a rather sad, back-to-earth bump, it occurred to me that most people would think it was just a bit weird and possibly dysfunctional. All of which made me appreciate the kinky blog-network even more than usual. So thank you all for being part of it by reading spanking models’ blogs.

Hmmm, this is not what I was actually planning to talk about. I actually wanted to talk about an audition I had on Saturday.

I was terribly excited to be contacted about playing the role of a super-villain in a movie. I think I got offered an audition because they need someone who’s over 6ft with fight training, and while there are lots of men who’d fit that bill, they need a girl. Hooray! I thought. And off I trotted to Knightsbridge, wearing my highest heels and a mini-skirt. This was in order to fit the sketch they’d sent me – this is certainly not how I’d choose to dress normally. I think I scared a lady coming out of Starbucks….

And somehow, it hadn’t occurred to me that they’d want an exhibition of some aggression. The script required me to strangle a poor chap to death (not for real, please don’t worry – I don’t think it was that kind of movie…) This is something I suppose I was once quite comfortable with a few years ago when I used to do mainstream acting work and fight choreography. But having been happily concentrating on being sub for the last couple of years – eurgh! It felt awful.

Added to the horror was the fact that my ‘victim’ was one of the production staff. The weird power dynamic involved in ‘strangling’ someone you’re hoping will be your future employer is altogether uncomfortable, and probably best avoided. I’m still shuddering now….. But hooray, I managed to get through it without confessing that I’d rather switch roles, please.

All of which reminds me that I meant to post the YouTube link to one of my videos from my friends at http://www.fetisheyes.com Here it is – I hope you enjoy watching me having a go at being a little bit dom – it’s always more comfortable if I only have to be nasty to the camera….

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OpyW88x10Ys

I’m off on a world tour from next week onwards, so I’ll try to post, but it might be a bit tricky. I’m back in November; have a great Autumn everybody, and thanks as always for reading 🙂

A/a

A comment (by L, on my ‘Lots of Beating’ post a few weeks ago) made me think. It also made me slightly worried. He comments that I seem happier as Ariel than as Amelia, and seem to enjoy being tied up more than being spanked. ‘Nooo!’ I thought, and thought I should back my happiness up with pictures. Here are examples of me appearing to enjoy and not enjoy various scenarios:-

Sad About Spanking ( from http://www.shadowlane.com/)

Sad About Bondage (courtesy of http://www.bondagebob.com/)

Happy About Spanking.

Oh. I don’t have any. Thank you, L, for making a valid point 🙂

Hmmm, well, I can see why you might not think I like it from the expressions I like to do and I’ve been thinking about why.

I remember that when I started bondage modelling, I was only really comfortable with being the resitant, damsel-in-distress type, because I didn’t want everyone to be able to see I was enjoying myself. I got gradually more comfortable with the fact that, hello, people might be able to guess that I was having a good time and I relaxed my rules, but when I decided to be Amelia Jane Rutherford too, I wanted to have the chance to be all haughty and resistant. I don’t think it’s because of my discomfort with being kinky any more, I think it’s simply that I have so much fun being vile. But I promise, I definitely enjoy being spanked. Oh yes. I just like it best when I’m pretending to hate it.

Thank you everyone, for your comments – I’ll try to comment on more of them 🙂

This month, a new aspect of my kink seems to be emerging. And very interesting it is (for me. It may not be very interesting for you, in which case I apologise unreservedly. My blog is awfully egocentric, I’m afraid). Now that I’ve started to write about it, I realise it’s not actually entirely new, it’s just that I’m concentrating on it more than normal, and all my fantasies are rather focused on it right now.

This month I am Being Brave.

It suddenly struck me that I do tend to behave in an utterly undignified way. Now, this is a great deal of fun, but I’ve started to feel very impressed with and envious of people who are a bit braver and more stoic than me (there are many of these people, alas). So lots of my fantasies involve being a highly trained military-something (hmm, haven’t really researched this very thoroughly yet) and being magically tough enough to cope with all sorts of cruelty. I want to try to psych out whoever’s punishing me by not responding; and while this is probably going to be impossible, it’s awfully satisfying and exciting to try.

So here is a picture of me being Ever So Brave, confronted by a wicked doctor who has locked me up in his asylum. He’s probably going to do terrible things to me, and of course I’m frightened, but I’m not going to tell him who I’m spying for (I want to be a spy as well as a military-something – sorry I forgot to mention that before) because I’m VERY tough.

Sadly, this week in my real life I have not been Ever So Brave. On Tuesday I had a super spanking shoot (with my friend P, who writes beautiful scripts) and I tried to be terribly self-possessed in our ‘arrested abroad after being framed for drug-smuggling’ storyline, but the false accusations made me cry (duh, not brave) and I don’t think I took the 62 cane strokes in a very highly-trained way, to be perfectly honest.

But it’s not about the winning, it’s about the taking part. OBviously. I shall keep trying. Who Dares Wins, and all that. Oh, I want to be Andy McNab….