Good heavens! This week is very momentous for me. On Thursday I am moving in with the BDM (to newcomers to my blog, this stands for Boyfriend/Dom/Master because he very cleverly manages to take on all three roles). I’m very happy. I do try to be careful about posting personal information on my blog in case it’s being read by arch-enemies or, you know, stalkers, but I’m just going to splurge all sorts of personal details now, because I have run out of self-discipline…

I’ve been living on my own in my flat in London for the last 2 years. And it’s been very, very ordered and tidy. But rather lonely. There isn’t really much space for the BDM here, but he’s spent lots of time here, and I think that my neighbours might be a bit sick of us. I do try not to be noisy, but BDSM just IS noisy, so I think it’ll be good to be in a house instead.

Our new house will have a DUNGEON, so that the BDM can use it as a studio. This is actually factually incorrect. The new house will have a STUDIO, which can be used as a dungeon when he’s not working. But in my head, it shall not be a studio. Oh no. Flash heads are not sexy. Is a flash head even a real thing? Good lord, maybe I’ll learn more about photography once I’m living in an actual photographer’s house.

Anyway, it’s not his house. We’re buying it together. It’s 2/3rds this house and 1/3 mine. And my 3rd shall be very very clean 🙂

And these are some things that I’m looking forward to. Sorry, they are not all kinky. But the picture I posted at the top of the post is, so if this is boring, just look at that for a while instead, and IMAGINE what the post might have been about….

1) Eating dinner with my boyfriend, at a dining table, instead of eating on my own, at my desk while trying to reply to emails.
2) Sharing a bed. Or a room at least, I’m not sure if I’ll be allowed to sleep in an actual bed…. I wonder if I can have a sort of giant pet-basket?
3) Not having to schedule time together as though it’s a military campaign. I’ll just magically see him, every day (sort of – I’ll still have to work away a lot)
4) Being able to have people to stay – I haven’t got space at my flat to have more than one person at a time (or a very friendly couple) and I’m so looking forward to that!
5) Being a terrible, apologetic, submissive landlady. I hope my future tenant isn’t reading this, because I can already tell I’m going to be a pushover. I’ve just bought her a new oven, entirely by accident and against my will.

Now I’m going to stop writing before I publish my address, bank details and mother’s maiden name. Sorry for gushing, but I really am very excited!

A/a

Happy days! www.northernspanking.com have just finished editing ‘Ghastly Amelia-Jane’, which is, to date, one of my very favourite shoots ever-in-the-world. Lucy kindly asked me what I’d like to shoot and I, with a general lack of professionalism, just reeled off what I was fantasising most about at the time. Which was;-

a) Being woken up especially in order to be punished. This is actually one of the few fantasies I have which I don’t actually want fulfilled (PLEASE, BDM). I hate waking up, and am groggy and sad if made to do so. But the idea of being punished while that defenseless is hot. And I’ve always fondly imagined that I’d be super at withstanding interrogation with sleep deprevation thrown in. In my fantasies, I’m always very brave 🙂

b) Being punished by a private tutor. I like the combination of spanking and spelling tests very much (what a freak – I never revised for them when I was actually at school, and hated them very much – though not as much as times-tables. But now I LOVE them). I like trying to get the answers right. Watch the video and see if you can guess whether I’m being deliberately stupid, or whether, perhaps, I don’t know very much about structural engineering….

The film is going up on Northern Spanking in several parts, starting this week. So go along and have a look. When I watched the final edit, I laughed a lot; it’s proper spanking – and I loved Paul’s efforts to be reasonable and patient – he puts in a a super perfomance.

Thank you, Lucy, for letting me shoot my fantasy! And thank you also for photographing me so that I’d look small. I really do, and it makes me so happy!

A/a

Well, well, well. What a strange shoot this looks like. And indeed, it was. See if you can work out the story from the above stills…. I’m not sure I can help you, to be quite honest, even though I was there. It’s all a bit of a blur….

http://bars-and-stripes.com is an absolutely super CP website/virtual world. I was tremendously excited to discover it existed, and went and worked for them for the first time about 18 months ago. Last week, I went back for a second go. One of the lovely things about B&S is that it’s basically a soap opera – there are characters who always appear, and once you’ve been admitted, you get to keep shooting for them until you’ve done your time. Yay!

I get to play a particularly unpleasant incarnation of Amelia-Jane here. She’s a corrupt lawyer who’s finally been found out after years of dodgy dealing. She’s awfully clever, and terribly patronising to the long-suffering members of staff (particularly Officer Stephen Lewis, who she looks upon as her inferior). Fortunately for them, this prison allows the use of corporal punishent, so every infraction is swiftly dealt with.

So off I wandered, to a chilly studio in North London, to deliver myself into the hands of Governor Michael Stamp for 2 days. You can fit an awful lot of spanking into 48 hours. An AWFUL lot. And lovely though the team undoubtably are, they are not gentle (how could you be, really, in a prison?). As is traditional at spanking shoots, we started with the lighter scenes and progressed to tougher stuff later on. But even the first hand spanking seemed to hurt in a shocking and un-natural way. OUCH! As the day progressed, I didn’t get any braver. The scenes were wonderful fun, but everything was so painful! Even the strap-of-joy (named because it LOOKS scary, SOUNDS scary, but is really surprisingly kind and gentle) seemed pretty severe… We ended the first day with a flogging and 12 stroke caning. And I cried. A GREAT DEAL. Which is fine, except that I was meant to be playing a tough, haughty criminal. I went back to the (super, purple) hotel with a sore throat from screaming so much, feeling rather baffled by myself. Was I losing my kink? I wondered…

The next day Matron arrived. I love her very much, and was a fan a long time before I met her. I’d been so much looking forward to working with her, and suddenly there I was, in the hospital wing! After a charming introductory scene (‘take off your dress!’ ‘No, I jolly well won’t, you nasty common woman…’) she pulled me over the examination table and began the CP action.

And I cried again. Which Amelia-Jane would certainly not do in front of Matron. I was ruining my character’s integrity! This made me very sad. So I cried some more, and asked to cut. I recovered myself and we carried on, but I was beginning to feel like I’d stepped into someone else’s body. WHY did it hurt so much?

I went home, still baffled, and sad that I might have scared all the lovely people I’d been working with. Then I sneezed. And started to cough. And crawled into bed for two days.

Spanking modelling. Not an easy job when you’re going down with a virus.

Fortunately I’m better now, and it no longer hurts to be spanked. The BDM has been experimenting, and he says I’m completely cured 🙂

Thank you, Bars and Stripes, for having me back! You are tremendous! I hope I didn’t give the whole prison my bug.

A/a

This week I am having work done on my flat in preparation for letting it out (and buying a house with the BDM, which might take a while due to solicitor-related DRAMA), and my first visitor was an electrician, who basically moved in for 3 days. Fortunately, the super people at Bars-and-Stripes.com were on-hand to kindly offer me accommodation and generally abuse me for a few days, so I wasn’t around to see my poor little flat being sliced apart. (more to follow on the B&S shoot – it was super but I don’t have any pictures yet).

But I’ve never had people I didn’t know in my flat before, and it caused me some problems. To what extent should one de-kink one’s flat when strangers are coming to work there? Well, I’m not the kind of girl to have modelling pictures all over my walls (too depressing in the morning, really, when your reflection bears absolutely no relation to the photograph), so that wasn’t a problem. One of the BDM’s pictures of me is normally up in the hall (it glares over my shoulder if I’m looking in my bathroom mirror – spooky!) but I’d already packed it away…

The horrid thing is that you become blind to your own surroundings after a while. It took some serious concentration to spot a riding crop hanging on the front door (I hid it in the wardrobe with the Janus magazines and all my hats) but even after wandering round and round the flat trying to see it through vanilla eyes, my problems weren’t over.

If I was left in someone else’s flat, I think I might look in their cupboards. I realise that this is not a good thing, and I do hope that perhaps I wouldn’t, but I MIGHT. So, it follows, my electrician might well do the same thing.

So I had a look in my drawers in order to see the contents through his eyes. (A bit loony, you might say, since I hadn’t even met him yet…) Hmmm. I suddenly realised that I didn’t want him to know I was sub. Somehow I felt as though it would be altogether less shaming if he thought I was some sort of ball-breaking, leather-clad dominatrix. Why? I suppose that maybe it’d make him want to do an awfully good job with my wiring? Or maybe just because it’s so far from the truth that I wouldn’t feel exposed? Or am I a little bit ashamed of being submissive – I do hope not!

Anyway, I took everything that looked vaguely ‘toppish’, of which I have very little. Actually corsets are pretty much all I have, along with some little leather outfits which I never wear…
And I hid anything more incriminating underneath. Cos, OBVIOUSLY, no one would rummage THROUGH a stranger’s drawers? Surely they’d be content with a little look at the top layer?

And off I went to my shoot, obsessing all the time. Good lord, how will I cope if and when I live in a house with an actual DUNGEON?

A/a