Welcome Back, Countess Ariel

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    I was delighted to note the return of Ariel’s character, “Countess Ariel” in the photoset, “Discovered by the Editor of the Village Newsletter” (New, 2nd November). This character – if not always by that name – made many appearances in a string of wonderfully funny RE videos a few years ago. While there have been many great things done since on the site, My wife and I both find ourselves coming back to videos like FUTV, Kinkier than You, Ladette to Lady and others of that era.

    It is great to see Ariel develop new characters including a more directly bossy one but I would love to see more of the “Countess” with her self-assured arrogance and casual disregard for those she saw as inferiors (such as servants, neighbours and the police). She brought a zany humour to the internet that I think might be especially welcome as the real world gets ever more serious and dark.

    And since I am putting this post on the “Suggestions” section, I suppose I should offer some ideas for what she can do. Here are some first thoughts and I hope other members might add more. Titles are just working titles/labels for convenience.

    OK, like the old videos I love, some of these ideas call for more than one performer but I’m sure with skilled refinement this could be made manageable.

      1. They’re around here somewhere

    The countess is talking to a friend – perhaps on the ‘phone to cut down on cast. They talk about tedious visitors who have been around the village, salesmen, opinion pollsters, political canvassers or whatever. Ariel insists she has no problems with such silly little interfering busybodies. Her friend seemingly agrees they haven’t been back for months.

    As each person is described, we cut to another girl in bondage in another corner of the house, cellar, cupboard, etc. They are gagged.

    Ariel puts down the ‘phone. “Well, I wonder what happened to all those people. Oh, I think they may be around here somewhere. I really can’t be bothered. I have tea with the colonel so better get off” and leaves by front door.

      2. Sending in the Heavies

    The countess opens the door and welcomes in two of her friends. They talk about how lucky Ariel is to have such a nice house and rich businessman husband. It soon emerges the husband’s business is a bookmaker and the friends’ husbands have substantial gambling debts to him. Ariel chides them that her father always told her a gentleman pays his bookmaker but never his tailor (or something like that). They say Ariel’s husband sent round some thugs, “the heavies” to threaten their husbands so they are here to get some leverage in return. They spring on Ariel and tie her up.

      3. What a charming house (unutterably tasteless)

    Countess Ariel enters a small room saying something like, “Yes, tea would be lovely. I’ll wait here in your charming little sitting room”. She then talks to herself about the utter dreadful petty bourgeois furniture and curtains etc and the general lack of tasteful expense about the place. She then hears someone call from outside and goes to the door. “Oh, is that the tea? What? I was talking aloud! You could hear me through these thin little walls? You think I need to be taken down a peg or two?” Camera fades and comes up with Ariel tied and gagged and struggling.

    I’d be interested to know how many other members remember the old “Countess Ariel” style videos and if anyone else would like to see more and/or has their own ideas for plots. If Hywel and Ariel are interested in following up on any of mine, I would be happy to work more on them or similar.




    Can I just add a “thank you” for “Great Expectations”. It may not have been the upper class countess but I welcome the return of Ariel’s comic talent in this classic, bratty personality.

    And if we are seeing a return of RE videos adopting titles from classic literature, then I welcome that too.


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