Needing a Sanatorium

I am properly ill, it turns out. And how lovely that I’ve got a blog, otherwise I wouldn’t have anywhere public to make a big fuss about the symptoms. I had a shoot yesterday which I couldn’t cancel, and must have infuriated the makeup artist by blowing my nose and wiping off the makeup over and over again. She was very patient, and kept re-coating my nose in extra-thick foundation to hide the neon-glow…. And then she basically painted a whole different face on top of my one, and I looked fine in the pictures. Miraculous really – she even had something to stop my eyes being blood-shot. Have never modelled with flu before, am amazed how much a makeup artist can do to hide the evidence. We should all have one…

Is interesting that in bondage and spanking work, hardly anyone ever bothers with them. Gags tend to destroy makeup so I suppose it’d feel like a bit of a waste – and I’ve always been fascinated by what my hair does when I get spanked. It sort of re-arranges itself on my head and weaves itself into a weird kind of mat that sticks straight up. Which would be a total waste of anyone’s hard styling work. I’d really love to have a stylist who’d ensure that I ended a spanking with my hair behaving like a lovely, shiny waterfall. Huh. And without my makeup smeared on the sofa.

I can’t cope with being actually upright any more, so am going to lie down and drink some more Lucozade, which I’m heartily sick of now. I’m wishing that I belonged in an old fashioned girls’ school story (not for the first time…) and that I could be sent off to a sanatorium to recover from my long, serious illness….

‘No!’ Cried Amelia-Jane, ‘I simply must stay here and help the Upper IV to victory in the netball match against those beasts in Lower VB!’

The easy tears of someone who is not very well spilled down her pale cheeks, and Miss Newton knew that poor Amelia-Jane would not be playing netball again for some time. ‘My dear, you’ve had a fearful illness, and added to that awful shock for you and Flynn last term, you’re thoroughily exhausted. You’ll need a good rest before you can come back to school – so we’ll send you somewhere with good doctors who can make you well again’…..

Ahhhhhhhh 🙂

12 thoughts on “Needing a Sanatorium

  1. Redhead

    “…and added to that awful shock for you and Flynn last term…”

    Kiss and tell please!

    Even though, with the help of many well wishers, ;)) I kicked off my ‘flu bout over a month ago, today, first day back at work, I’ve been successively told I should use my voice for voice-overs, to read radio announcements, The Book at Bedtime (Little Prince in Swiss German anyone?), or the Shipping Forecast…that one’s for Flynn.

    An audition for the Russian Army choir sounds far more interesting.

    Yep, ‘flu sucks.

    Get well very soon.

    R

  2. Anonymous

    hey do you guys use your real name as models or do you just pick a random one? like is amelia jane your real name or just a stage one?

    >

  3. Anonymous

    Amelia Jane
    Take good care of yourself and get fully well soon. Your thoughts on jolly hockey sticks St Trinians type scenario suggest an old fashioned 1950s scene which i’m sure you and others could develop into a dvd!
    Hope you are v well soon.
    Paul

  4. MarQe

    You wouldn’t be trying it on would you young Rutherford ?? Just because it’sa little cold out !! Perhaps a ‘warm up’ before games is what is called for !!!

  5. Winchester

    I am distressed for you that you are so unwell… but if you really need a spell in the san, isn’t there one at Girls Boarding School….? 🙂

    Serously though, get well soon! As to the make up problem, I can sympathise as when I have acted with a heavy cold, (you have to in Am-Drams as there are seldom understudies), make up and the nasal area just don’t mix! Being hirsutically challenged I am afraid that stylists are unnecessary (except when wearing a wig, when the greatest fear is that it might fall off). Have never tried a gag…..

  6. Hywel Phillips

    Just picking up on your comment about bondage and spanking photographers not booking makeup artists. I used to, but I stopped because I didn’t think the extra sales were covering the makeup artists’ fees.

    A good makeup artist can do wonderful stuff, but bondage and spanking modelling is much more about emotions and expressions than just looking flawless (unlike quite a few other styles of shoot).

    A really good expressive model can sell the sets with less-than-perfect makeup, but a wooden model will not sell the sets even if her makeup is flawless. So in order to book a makeup artists I’d want to know the model was really good at the expressions. I’d also want her to be absolutely reliable, because otherwise I’d be at risk of paying a makeup artist with a no-show model.

    And the thing is that really good reliable models who are good actresses are usually quite capable of doing their makeup to a good professional standard. Sure, a really funky look might be asking a bit much, but for most things, most of the time, their own makeup (and indeed your own makeup, Ariel) is absolutely fine.

    It could be fun to come up with some really involved makeup looks for a bondage shoot and get a makeup artist along though… perhaps we should book someone?

    Hywel.

  7. vogel

    Flu jabs do work. Tell you doctor you need a free one as you do work of national importance.

    With every best wish for a speedy recovery, dear Amelia.

    “The foster nurse of nature is repose”

  8. John Belfast

    Hi Ariel/Amelia,
    I am very pleased to have discovered your blog, have been fan of yours since seeing you interviewed on the firmhand site, oh how i love your accent.
    Sorry to hear you have the nasty flu hope you get well soon.
    Regards
    John

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